NYC Recommends Wearing Masks During Sex and Other Things

including physical walls

New York City health officials have released an updated list of guidelines for sex-havers in the city to help them stay safe while they’re getting it on.

The recent changes include wearing masks during the deed to “reduce heavy breathing and panting” that could result in the virus being transmitted. They also recommend residents limit their sexcapades to two people because “three (or more) is definitely a crowd”.

There are a few other suggestions for safe relations, but the most baffling one is the recommendation to incorporate “physical barriers” (like walls). There weren’t any specific examples of how to sexily incorporate a wall. The only one that comes to mind involves cutting a hole in one.

The entire list is quite an entertaining read.