It went where? A list of what items patients got stuck up their rectums

There is a certain branch in the US Government that tracks what is a real pain in the a$$. Literally.

The US Consumer Product Safety Commission keeps a database on what brings people into the Emergency Room, including what has been lodged where the sun doesn't shine.

Thankfully, the poor souls who had to make the visit remain anonymous, but their reports don’t. There were a number of cases of people unsure if they still had a sex toy inside them, and wanted to make sure they were all clear.

The people at Defector have put together a list of other items that had people saying, “I need a proctologist.”

• Nails
• Screws and nails
• Baseball (Reason given: “to see what it felt like.”)
• Uncooked pasta
• Egg
• Dog chew toy
• Dryer sheet
• Sandal
• Door knob
• Marbles
• Eyeglasses
• Rock
• Beard clippers wrapped in plastic
• Turkey baster
• Plastic cleanser bottle full of liquid
• Shampoo bottle (Reason given: “slipped in the shower.”)
• Lubricant bottle
• Enema bottle
• Aerosol can
• Dental pick
• Wine stopper
• Corn cob holder
• Highlighter
• Invisible marker
• Two pencils
• 7-inch dildo and pliers (used to try to remove dildo)
• Broken piece of butt plug and tweezers (used the pliers to try to remove a broken piece of the butt plug)
• Film canister
• Battery-powered light
• Flashlight
• Penny
• Light bulb, glass side first
• Vape pen
• Corncob-style pipe
• Rubber gasket
• Piece of nose hair trimmer
• Rectangular travel toothbrush
• Baton
• Hair tie

The good news is, these kinds of visits to the ER are rare.

Also, as proven by the pliers and nose clippers, if you do find yourself in this situation, it’s best to go straight to the hospital, because you’ll only make things worse if you try fixing it yourself.

Feature image from pexels by Andrea Piacquadio