Things Women Say That Men Misunderstand

We've created a dictionary to keep you out of the doghouse

 “Nothing”

… It is definitely something and you had better figure it out real quick!

“Do I look fat in this?”

… The answer is categorically “no!”

“We need to talk”

… You’re dead.

6827463414_7526d0a20e_b

“Go ahead”

… This is not permission. In fact, it’s more of a dare. So don’t do it!

“What are you doing?”

… It’s actually a statement akin to “You’re doing it wrong.”

5253517352_e96e4e43b9_b

 “Do you have to do this now?”

… Also not a question. It means stop doing what you’re doing.

“It would be nice if …”

… Everything following the “if” is an unconditional order.

12683338054_1eff768f5e_b

“Fine”

… The argument is over and you lost.

“It’s OK”

… This only means she needs some time to figure out your punishment.

Argument

 

“It’s up to you”

.. Making the wrong choice will usually result in an “It’s OK.”

“Are you listening?”

… You are not listening. And there is no way to recover from this.

2573762303_365ac020f8_b

 

“We can go anywhere you want”

… You had better choose my favorite restaurant.

Loud sigh

… I can’t believe I have to stand here and put up with your stupidity.